My sister is still in the hospital, still lacking an official diagnosis.

The good news is that she still has a sense of humor. We've been cracking House jokes a lot.

This morning I told her, "Maybe it's Lupus."

It made her laugh.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!!!

I watched SNL last night and heard Coldplay perform Viva La Vida. It was stunning and beautiful.

The video is gorgeous as well.



They've always been a band that I've been aware of and liked, but this song is really striking to me right now.

Also, I love the halloween lj header.



It produced many giggles.

My Mother called me yesterday to wish me a Happy Birthday, since she didn't know I'd taken the day off today and wanted to make sure she was able to tell me, even if it was early. We played catch up discussion, and what's happening due to the state of the horrible economy.

I think it's the first time ever that we've discussed politics, as in had a real truthful discussion on our views on things, and I find we agree on most everything. Probably should be as surprising to me as it is because all of the values she taught me as a child are the reason why I lean heavily towards being a liberal democrat. Apparently, my father is heavily Republican, which I don't think surprises me at all, but considering the status of the stock market and the effect it's having on retirement funds, he's considering actually voting for Obama.

I think that's probably why politics weren't discussed very often, much like Religion, because their views differed so much and discussion would have become argumentative, and they did try to spare me of their conflicts whenever possible.

I just remember as a child being told by my Mother that when talking to my grandfather I was not allowed to bring up the subject of the Great Depression. I don't even know why it was specifically requested, as it's not a subject I would have thought to bring up I think, but I guess she was being proactive in not hearing a long drawn out rant from her father of how difficult life was for him as a child. I bring this up because she mentioned to me her fear that we may be on the brink of something like that again, and it's definitely something that had been weighing heavily on my mind as well. She told me a couple of stories that she's heard recently of people losing everything since the stock market has been down and taking their own life, reactions that mirror what was happening not even a full century ago. We talked about my job, and that while things are still stable for me at this point, the stress level has risen because of the amount of people who just are not able to pay their bills.

I started really thinking about everything back when gas hit 4 dollars a gallon, and I knew back then we were in a serious crisis. The problem was no one seemed to want to admit it or talk about it. I get calls from so many people who complain about the amount they're paying for electricity, but they're not willing to adapt their habits to the circumstances of the situation we're all in.

We had a real opportunity with 9/11 as far a personal responsibility and accountability are concerned that was squandered. Telling people during a state of crisis that they should continue about their lives as if nothing happened is irresponsible. Telling people that they needed to not change their habits or the terrorists have won is now coming back to bite us. Now people expect not to have to change. They want to continue living their lives as they always have and not respond to the crisis in a reasonable fashion. We all have to change the way we've been living.

No matter who we vote into office, it doesn't change the fact that we're on a sinking ship. The next four years are going to be spent trying to keep our heads above water. It's going to take hard work and effort to do. Things aren't going to turn around by themselves. And it's possible things could even get much worse before they get better. But we all have to prepare. We all have to have contingency plans. And we all have to think about what changes we will have to make just to survive should worse come to worse. And we all have to be sensitive to those who are already experiencing worse, when we are not.

These are the thoughts that plagued my mind yesterday until approximately 4 am when I was finally tired enough that my racing mind was no longer keeping me awake. It's the third night in a row I've had issues sleeping.

Happy Birthday.

While I really dislike Sarah Palin and everything she stands for, and am not too fond of John McCain now a days, I really love that one of my friends told me he wanted to refer to me as a Maverick who stands for change that we can believe in. It was fun going around the rest of the day saying "You betcha!"

*sigh* Hopefully they'll lose too. *L*

I haven't really discussed it at all recently for the past month... mostly because I didn't want to focus on it too deeply.

Today was Kumoricon elections. I ran. And I lost. No big. Actually, that would be the main reason I didn't talk about it. I was trying to not psyche myself up. If I'd gotten either of the positions I was running for, I would have been very happy because then maybe things would have turned around.

I've been very dissatisfied with a lot of things that have occurred in the past year, issues that could have been handled differently or avoided altogether. Honestly, I was worried about Kumoricon 2008 the entire year. It didn't go as horribly as I thought it might, but there were moments where I was sick to my stomach over the things that were happening. And I was very sad, because I wanted to be more involved. I wanted to help. I decided that I could make up for it by running for the positions I should have ran for last year, the positions people wanted me to run for... the positions that multiple people through out the year came to me and said "I would have rather it been you", including people who endorsed the elected members at last years election.

Anyone who wants to question my motives obviously doesn't really know me, but then again how many in this convention really know each other outside of our circles of friends. There are some that I consider friends that I know were probably opposed to me for one reason or another. That is fine. Keep it to yourself. I will never ask you how you voted or what your reasoning is, just like I will never request my husband tell me what you said. The fact that he and my friends heard it and were hurt on my behalf was enough, thanks.

Also since I am the only person running for a board position whos husband was present, I do highly resent the implication that he couldn't be trusted. Say whatever the hell you want about me, because I walked into this willing, but don't insult him.

Anyway, my motives were simply a) I saw issues, b) I saw ways to fix said issues, and c) not only did I believe in myself, but other people seemed to believe in me as well. Not enough, mind you, but enough to make me think that maybe I had a shot. But no, I didn't treat it like a popularity contest, no I didn't run just to make sure there was more than one nominee in some of the races, no I didn't run because people want to use me to get to the board, and no I'm not some power hungry bitch or someone desperate for attention. Anyone who might think these things of me obviously doesn't know me at all so I cannot take it personally. Anyone who thinks these things and considers me a friend may want to rethink our relationship.

I ran because I honestly believed I could make a difference. Five minutes isn't enough time to fully discuss everything wrong with this con and all the changes that need to be made. But when you have the biggest concern from attendees multiple years in a row being that our customer service sucks, I honestly think a person with 10 years of customer service would be a helpful addition to your decision making team. But, ok. Decisions have been made, and we'll see what happens.

In the end, am I glad I ran? Yes. Better to take the risk and lose than to not ever have the courage to stand up in the first place for things you believe in. The outcome may not have been what I wanted, but I am proud of myself. And I can only hope that, no matter what I may personally feel, everything works out for the best in the next year.

And as I said to one of my opposition, no matter what, I'm still going to be here in the coming year. I'm going to work just as hard. I have no idea what my job title will be, and I suppose I'll discuss with the new Ops director in the coming month what his needs are within the department and see if I have a place in his ranks, which I'm sure I do.

Of course, in hind sight, I wish I hadn't gotten so nervous that I had trouble sleeping last night, which kicked off stomach issues this morning. In the end, it's better for me. I don't need this high amount of stress.

In the meantime, I have better and sunnier things to occupy myself.

Went out this evening to celebrate my birthday. We went to dinner at Marie Callendar's, went to the 13th door, and then went to Rumor's to sing Karaoke for a couple of hours.

Tomorrow, Jasmine is coming over to cook me dinner and we'll watch Trueblood together... I'm glad to have a friend to watch the episodes with (other than Tom). Reminds me of my sacred Buffy nights oh so long ago.

And then Monday, no idea what we're actually doing on my birthday, but people apparently have time off so something fun perhaps?

Oh and I had a Nintendo DS now and lots of games, as well as a KT Tunstall cd, a new Sailor Moon poster, a DVD of Lady in White, a Fruity Oaty Bar lunch box, and did I mention lots of ds games including super mario bros and a few final fantasy games and a brain teaser game. Yay presents. Yay for people actually reading my birthday list, getting me items from it as well as awesome items that I didn't even put on a list but totally would have wanted (OMG LADY IN WHITE FAVORITE MOVIE FROM CHILDHOOD OMG).

So hooray for birthday and hooray for good friends and good times. And we'll just let the rest of that go.

It's hitting me harder this year. Most likely because the 13th year has come around, and now Kellie is the same age I was in 1995.

13 years ago, I lost one of the most important people in my young life. I came home from school that day to find my Mother sitting in the living room... And she told me my Grandfather had died.

It was so sudden. There were no indications. Ok, there probably were, but he didn't tell us. I remember Mom finding medication she didn't know he was supposed to be taking, and most likely he wasn't even actually taking it, or at least not on any consistant basis.

Anyway, his loss is a wound that will never properly heal. He wasn't perfect, but he loved me.

I'm going to apologise ahead of time to those of you on my friends list who are hard core republicans who absolutely love the President. I've been silent on political issues for awhile now, basically because I had assumed crash positions. I knew things would get a whole lot worse before things got better.

Well, here we are. Welcome to worse.

I remember in the 2000 elections, the biggest thing we were worried about was how Democrats had made the country morally bankrupt. Well, congratuations. It's 2008, and our country is literally bankrupt. I feel like we're between a rock and a hard place here. We don't want the financial system to fall apart, but in order to keep it from doing so, the government has to give big corporations money... but when you're Trillions of dollars of debt, where are you getting this money? Additional debt upon debt that taxpayers will have to pay for.

That's right, we will be paying for it, for the rest of our lives, our children's lives, and possibly our grandchildren's lives. You don't want higher taxes, but you don't say boo to the government spending lifetimes beyond their means?

Take my taxes. Take my refund. Keep your economic stimulus check. Put the money where it's needed. And quit spending more on top of it.

Someone, take away the government's credit card, please. Cut it up and throw it away.

So the throat infection is still really bad. My tonsils are totally swollen. Any attempts at talking not only sound like I have balls of cotton in my mouth, but also devolve eventually into choking. :( Considering my job is to talk to people all day, this is not a good mix, and I decided this morning to just give in and call in sick. Really wanted to have good attendance this month, but either way, they would have probably sent me home the moment I started choking on a call, and it wouldn't have saved me any occurance points... might as well just bite the bullet and save myself a long bus trip.

This sucks.

I have to be better by tomorrow. I don't have enough time off to call in sick again tomorrow. :(

He makes funny pictures.



Sorry to those of you that have both of us on your lists. Please forgive the lack of cut.

Not that I believe anyone I know actually subscribes to those beliefs...

Yesterday morning I woke up around 5 am with a sore throat. I really cannot call out sick to work in the next couple of months, so I drank some water and went back to sleep hoping it would just go away. To my amazement it did. Around 7pm, it came back. And my ears started to hurt a bit too. By that time, it was close enough to the end of my shift that I could just suffer through. It didn't effect my voice at all at that point and I was able to work fairly well, it was just an annoyance.

This morning I wake up to full blown throat infection. Tonsils are definitely swollen. Attempts at speech result in choking on my own words.

So, I'll be scrapping all the plans I had for the weekend now. :(

At least, it's a weekend and I'm not suffering through this at work. Hopefully I'm feeling better by Monday.

I know the people who need to read the following probably never will, however, since my own journal is the only place I can say it without being told to watch my tone, I will say it here:

YOU CANNOT TELL PEOPLE YOU DO NOT TRUST THEM AND THEN EXPECT THEM TO TRUST YOU.

That's not the way it works.

Also, you can't treat an adult like a child and expect to get a response that is anything other than "Go to Hell."

And, unrelated, here's what's been on repeat in my ipod.



Yeah, I'm the best of moods.

My husband has been hounding me to make a list of things I want as a Wish List for my birthday and for Christmas.

So, I've gone back to Amazon.com again to build it.

So, um, for those of you who wanted to buy me stuff, here's what I've been wanting.

I can has new Fandom.

Trueblood is awesome. I was hooked by the first episode, but the second has definitely solidified. It's officially my new show. So far, while I love Sookie and Bill, I think Tara is my favorite of all the characters. So far, she's done one thing per episode that has made me cheer.

Looooooove it. Love love love.

PS, very adult show. Kellie you can't watch for another few years.

Tuesday after con I came back to work horribly exhausted and extremely stressed out, once again, something I'm pledging to never ever do to myself again. That morning before my shift started I was informed that I was being moved to a different team. Same shift, just a different manager. The reasoning behind it was upper management felt it would be better if I was hanging around more people who were there later in the evening. On the team I was on, there was just me and this other guy named Matt off in nomansland by ourselves for three hours of our shift. We had been cool with it, and neither of us complained. But it didn't matter, they wanted us moved.

I also found out about five minutes later that one of my friends from my training class was no longer with the company. I'm not sure if he quit or was fired, because they don't usually make those things public. But in our class, he was one of the most positive people, and talked about staying at this place in the long term, wanted to be a manager. And I really expected him to make it in the long term.

Unfortunately, all that information dumped on me right on that morning when I was feeling less than fantastic was a little too much, and I started breaking down. I quickly excused myself to the bathroom where I tried to calm myself down. My manager noticed and came after me. She hugged me and tried to calm me down. She also said that she would try to talk to her manager to see if there's anything that could be done to keep me on her team.

I just tried to make it through the rest of the day as best I could.

The next day, my manager sat down with me and said her manager wouldn't even let her plead the case. The decision wasn't changing, and I had to be moved.

So, the past two weeks at work were difficult. Really, I had just settled in to this team. I liked the people who sat around me, and I got along with them really well. I really liked my manager. She told me the other day that she had listened to some of my calls to grade them, and she said she was really impressed with me. One call in particular she actually went back after grading it and listened to it again just to really listen to how I handled the customer. And I got a note from her two days ago attached to some stats she handed out to me saying that the new manager is really lucky to have me. It's really nice to feel appreciated, and everyone loves receiving positive feedback. And while it's nice to know I really am doing a good job, it still really cuts at me.

I've been really depressed about it all week. I've remained strong about it and haven't caused a scene beyond that first day back. This is the first time I've actually allowed myself to really dwell on it and cry again.

So the move happened yesterday. I'm on the new team. I have friends on the team, but they sit away on the other side of the room. I don't really know the people immediately around me. I've seen them around, and have small talk chatted with them, but it's a whole new dynamic to get used to again. I'm sure everything will be fine. I'm sure new manager guy is good.

I just have to get over it and keep moving forward.

And if I'm still not happy about it in early December, I can try to get on one of the earlier shifts in her team's time frame, which I was planning to do anyway.

As fun as it has been to not need to leave for work until 11 am, not getting home until 10:30 pm really sucks. I can last another 2-3 months of it, as long as I'm still Monday through Friday, but I'm really looking forward to that floor wide shift bid.

What can I say about Kumoricon other than I'm still tired....

There was good. There was horribly frustrating. And there was fun.

Delirious fun... the kind you have after being trapped behind a desk for 13 hours, but fun none the less.

I'm never working my day job Tuesday after con ever again. Ever. I will make sure in the future I have Paid time off and sick days available if I can't get it approved. I was a zombie by the time con was over, and I was sick from exhaustion both physically and emotionally. By closing ceremonies on Monday, I was certifiably out of my mind.

Ok time for crazy pictures:
Pre-con album: http://s156.photobucket.com/albums/t16/TomtheFanboy/Kumoricon%202008/Pre-Con/
Saturday: http://s156.photobucket.com/albums/t16/TomtheFanboy/Kumoricon%202008/Saturday/
Sunday: http://s156.photobucket.com/albums/t16/TomtheFanboy/Kumoricon%202008/Sunday/
Monday: http://s156.photobucket.com/albums/t16/TomtheFanboy/Kumoricon%202008/Monday/

And tons of video. Of con, and other stuff. We're running out of youtube space on his account.

http://www.youtube.com/profile_videos?user=TomtheFanboy

I can't guarantee what is and is not work safe as I haven't yet watched and looked at everything yet.

I'm so glad it's finally Wednesday night Thursday early morning! Wednesday was the SLOWEST FREAKING DAY EVER.

But Yay! I have the next 5 days off! Tom had today off so he's already finished all his packing. I just have to gather all my stuff together, get it loaded into the van, and then tomorrow we'll be heading to the hotel early!

I'm totally excited. ^_^

http://community.livejournal.com/yahoo_lulz/14685.html?nc=17

Yeah, I'm becoming a member of this community. Too much funny to resist.

One other great thing about hanging out with people from the con again:

I still have the ringtone from Chakushin ari (One missed call) programmed into my phone for my text message alert. I've become desensitized to it I hear it so often. I get no reaction from the mundanes.

But to be in situations again where people hear the ringtone and actually gasp is just priceless.

So... what is new and interesting?

Answer: Not a whole hell of a lot.

Work is the same as it ever was. I do really like my new Manager. She really makes an effort to say Hi to me and be friendly. Not that the old one didn't, but it's more like is going out of her way to get to know me and make sure I'm happy with the new situation. She's cool. And I like the people who sit around me, which is good. Again, not that I didn't before... It's just that the entire situation could have been much worse, and I'm just glad at the way everything is working out.

The whole not getting home until 10:30 at night thing is going to get old pretty soon here, but for now the schedule works for my purposes.

I got all the time off I asked for next week for con. Which considering it was approved months ago, if I hadn't gotten it, someone would be hurting right now. But I was a little scared because my previous manager and I had a conversation once where she stated even if I get a holiday approved off ahead of time, I might be scheduled to work anyway if not enough people volunteer and I'm not high enough in the employee ratings. Everyone I talked to after that, has said, no, that's not how it works at all, and I'm wondering if she misunderstood the question when I first posed it, but I figured I've done what I can do, and if they schedule me then I'll just be screwed and that's that. But I have the day off scheduled now definitely so no more worries.

Tuesday after con is really going to suck, but at least I can sleep in that morning before going to work. I'm still upset that I requested to have it off, knowing I was going to have a schedule change, the schedulers refused to pencil it in, as I already had the day off per the schedule I had at the time, and by the time my shift was changed, the day was booked solid.

Damn yous all to hecks.

Oh well. :)

I'm trying to make this weekend as "not about the convention" as possible, since I'll be eating, sleeping, living, and breathing it next week. Last night, went out and had lots of fun and think I made new friend. :) Played mini golf at the glowing greens, which is awesome. I've been wanting to go there for awhile now. Then hung out at this coffee place and chatted til about 1:30 in the morning. Was fun.

Don't really have plans for the next couple of days other than not spend money. I'm thinking once my dear boy wakes up I might surf On Demand to see what's free.

I know, it's so very exciting. ^_^